Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Thoughts: On Awards
I was just granted the Honest Scrap award by Fence Postings. I am not sure what to do with it. This is not a problem I have with her or the award, but it simply brings up an issue that bounces in my head from time to time when one of these hits.
On the one hand, I am generally very honored when I get one. It means something I have written touches someone enough that they think my words are noteworthy. What could be more of an honor than having my own little inspirations touch someone else. That's why people publish things (at least this person), in order to touch people in some way. When someone elaborates on why I in particular got the award, or shares a sensitivity in particular with my writing or with me, then I am particularly touched and honored by it.
But there is a part of me too, that has a hard time saying so. I was raised to work hard and try to do well and then, when someone notices, I get all "gee shucks" and bashful about it. Is it bragging to show the awards? Or is it in appreciation and gratitude? I go back and forth.
There was a time when I had a whole wall in my office full of framed awards. I had/have a bunch of them from all over. In time though, it felt like bragging. Anonymous people I didn't know decided I deserved a plaque or a title. I was honored, but still... Today, I just have my diplomas up on my office wall, because they symbolized something I worked for, for me, and achieved. Awards....
But on the other hand. I work at my writing. I want it to be good. I work at my photographs. I want them to be good. I write to get things out of me that I can't say well in ordinary life. And I publish them because I think there are others who have trouble saying the same things in ordinary life and hope perhaps my words will also touch people in their lives. (For the most part, after all, poets don't get rich and famous.)
So I go back and forth. Back and forth. And as you can see, I don't have any displayed at this point. But I am thinking I may change. Because someone cared enough to award them, connected enough with my words to award them, and showing the award might be a way to honor them and their feelings and thoughts.
So..... you can see I am a little conflicted on this. Any thoughts from my readers? I know some of you show awards, and some don't. I'd like to know your thoughts. And to Fence Postings... Thank you, I am honored and appreciate your kind, kind words.
PS, the picture is of the Mill Mountain Star in Roanoke, Virginia. My son and I were up there taking in the fall colors a couple of weeks ago. You can click on it for a larger view.
PPS - I'd urge you to go see Fence Postings listing of other inspirational blogs that she gave the award to. There is some good reading there!